Stardew Valley Villagers, but They Get More Zionist
- Todd
- 1 day ago
- 8 min read
This is completely vibes based.
This is under the America-centric view because obviously everything is 'Merica (also, it's where I live and, unfortunately, my only real lived experience).
Don't come at me for Stardew Valley lore inaccuracy. It's MY tier list, make your own, idc.
Note: When I initially wrote this out, it went S Tier, A Tier, and then all the other Tiers were labeled F Tiers.
I stand by that.
But the lettering makes keeping track easier.
I made the tier list first, then had to try to come up with my reasoning for a lot of them, bear with me lol.
Key:
Green: In game canon.
Blue: Character is coded to be a certain way without it being stated openly.
Example:
Pink: Stuff I decided because of vibes.
Red: Facts. Literally just facts.
I linked a shit ton of sources for each claim I'll make throughout, if you want to look further into it.
S Tier - Actively fighting against Zionism. Willing to risk everything they can for liberation for ALL.
GUS -
Feels guilty asking for someone to pay their tab.
Gives his community free food.
Would spend the rest of his life making food for Palestinian families, if he could get out there safely.
The Stardew community believes that due to his knowledge of international cuisine and generosity, he's immigrant* coded, which would presumably give him more insight than the average white American has to the Palestinian hardships.
*People speculate that he could be from Italy (citing his similarities to Mario, I guess lol), Latin America, or Germany.
Root of the name Gus:
Augustus – Latin origin.
Angus – Gaelic origin.
Gustav – Scandinavian origin.
Other variations – Includes names like Agustín (Spanish) and August (English/German).
Either way, Gus is for the people.
MARU -
Was radicalized by watching her family's generational struggle.
Is desperately working to make a machine that can shut down drone technology from long distances.
Gives Penny all of her book recommendations.
The primary reason that Penny didn't fall down the Lib Zionist rabbit hole.
PENNY -
Daughter of a narcissistic mother, has lived with abuse long enough.
Just wants all children to have the ability to learn and thrive. Helps Vincent and Jas to understand compassion and empathy for all.
LEAH -
Feminist, bisexual, artist (I know, I know, all of the marriage candidates are technically bisexual, but with Leah it just hits harder.)
Uses nature to create thought provoking art.
Gets wine drunk and starts shit at the tavern.
ABIGAIL -
She uses her music and art to project her voice.
What differentiates her and Sam is that Abigail isn't afraid to fuck shit up.
Probably would bring her sword to protest events.
Hates leaving the house, but does it anyway because this is important to her.
Chronically online, has seen the horrors inflicted on Palestinians on TikTok.
Doesn't post TikToks of herself crying about it.
Boycotts JojaMart, not because of Pierre, but because they're on the Boycott, Divestment, & Sanctions (BDS) list.
EVELYN -
Considers herself the grandmother to all humanity and hasn't stopped fighting for her grandchildren, even when it's gotten hard and painful with age.
Has been an activist for over 50 years.
She cares for nature, nourishes the community garden.
Has been with George too long to leave him, but fights with him constantly about his views.
When Evelyn says that she "wish[ed] George would get out more," she means that she wishes he would get out of his Zionist mindset.
KROBUS -
Has lived through similar circumstances to the Palestinian struggle.
Refers to "The Great Catastrophe" that forced the Shadow People out of their "ancestral homes" by the Dwarf population.
They've been at war for centuries now (The Elemental Wars)
The Shadow People are vilified for fighting back against the occupation.
He's apologetic to Dwarf for the death that his people caused in their retaliation, but not for fighting for liberation.
WILLY -
Was literally part of the Global Sumud Flotilla trying to deliver aid to Gaza.
A Tier - More passively fighting against Zionism. Can't afford to risk much, either due to having a family, disability, or anything that might keep them from being more active/on the front line. Is doing the best to their current ability.
SAM -
Doesn't fully know what's going on, but is learning.
Wants to be S tier, but is unwilling or unable to put anything at real risk.
Makes small impacts where he can, knows he could be doing more.
CAROLINE -
Goes to protests because Abigail "radicalized" her.
Has no clue what she's doing, but knows Genocide is wrong and won't shy away from speaking up.
LINUS -
Knows how much one person's kindness means and shows that same kindness to every life that he comes across.
Including the Palestinian babies dying.
Gave up all of his worldly possessions and donated all his money to families in Palestine.
B Tier - Blue no matter who ass liberal. Both sides of the "war" are bad. Loves Joja-Cola and Starbucks. Goes to No Kings Protests for the photo op.
HARVEY -
Fucking loves (Starbucks) coffee.
Is focused on helping this small town, but doesn't have time to think big picture.
Partially fallen into Israeli propaganda brain, thinks both sides are equally bad.
Charges you for any medical bills you have, even when you share funds because you're fucking married.
JODI -
Her husband fought in the war, so she supports the troops.
Doesn't think there's anything she can do about it. Resigned to things just being this way forever.
Typical liberal mom. Tries to avoid politics.
Loves Lady Gaga and Miley Cyrus.
ROBIN -
Neurotypical, white, mom.
Doesn't understand where Demetrius is coming from and doesn't try to.
Just doesn't really get it.
MARNIE -
If it's not about animals, she doesn't really care.
Gen X with liberal values.
Keeps Lewis' secrets for him, like where Stardew Valley's tax dollars go, where his campaign funding comes from, and the fact that he owns a time-share in Tel-Aviv.
EMILY -
She's just quirky like that.
Peace and love, why can't we all just get along type.
Loves crystals and hippy shit.
SEBASTIAN -
Caring about things is cringe.
(Actually cares a lot)
Will say the most based shit and then never bring it up again.
Struggles to think about much beyond fixing his bike up and leaving the Valley.
Occasionally shows up to protest with Abigail and Sam.
Giggles to himself when he sees people in frog costumes.
C Tier - Apolitical loser. Doesn't even know what's going on. Why do you have to make everything political?!
ALEX -
Literally only cares about gridball. SHUT UP ABOUT GRIDBALL.
Ignores the friends that tell him that he needs to boycott the NGL (National Gridball League).
HALEY -
No one's ever made her reflect on anything outside of her personal bubble.
She's surrounded by middle class white people and really hasn't taken the necessary steps to change her perspective.
Considers herself not racist, but she definitely micro-aggresses Maru.
Can I touch your hair? Where are your parents from? Ass bitch.
PAM -
She's too busy in an alcoholic haze to give a fuck about the suffering of Palestinians.
Fucking loves JojAmazon.
Probably more than she loves abusing Penny.
ELLIOTT -
Is too up his own asshole to see anything outside himself.
SHANE -
His best friends died unexpectedly and he's been in a pessimistic, drunken stupor since and lost any hope for change.
Figures he'll be dead within the next five years, so what's it matter?
LEO, VINCENT, JAS -
(This one was just funny to me.)
They're literal children.
They're incredibly empathetic kids.
Penny teaches them about the several Holocausts that have and are happening in modern history, in a way that children can handle and understand.
WIZARD -
Too busy wizarding and cheating on his wife.
D Tier - Liberal Zionist. Wants gay pride colored missiles.
KENT -
Has PTSD after what he's seen in war, which has slightly watered down his militant Zionist views, but still believes the lie that Israel has a right to exist.
GEORGE -
F Tier - Conservative Zionist. Thinks not enough children in Gaza have died.
(I've heard real life Zionists say that, what the actual fuck)
CLINT -
Fucking red-pilled incel ass.
Thinks Israel, just like men, are entitled to whatever they want.
PIERRE -
Would literally bleed Stardew Valley dry if it meant he'd make a buck.
MORRIS -
Somehow less moral than Pierre and that dude's a spineless coward.
DWARF -
The Dwarves invaded the Shadow People's ancestral land and forced them to live underground. What followed was over 1,000 years of war, known as the Elemental Wars.
Dwarf's family was killed during the Dwarves' occupation of Krobus' people's land.
Will probably never be able to see past all of the tragedy and see where the violence started.
Can't say that I blame them for being angry, but they're directing it toward Krobus and the Shadow People without acknowledging the fact that the Dwarves attacked them, the Dwarves kicked them out of their homes, not the other way around.
This was a fun writing piece for me, but it felt important, too. Using media as a way to understand the genocide in Palestine helps create a path for empathy in people who struggle to understand, creates understanding, and can show the real impacts that our actions have.
It is that deep, actually.
Donate to families in Palestine: 14 Trusted Charities Helping Civilians in Palestine.
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